As anyone who has been in a long-term relationship knows, your sex life ebbs and flows. Not necessarily dramatically, but sometimes there is more consistency than others. I mean, it’s all relative: for some people that means it goes from once a week to once every couple weeks and for others it means it goes from 3 times a day to once a day.
Life happens – whether it’s kids, or opposite work schedules, or stress. Sometimes we’re just tired. Sometimes we need to make more of an effort than others. I personally feel that sex is an incredibly important part of a relationship and it should never feel like a chore. And as a woman, I want to be sexy for my partner – that really makes me feel good, so it’s a win-win situation. I want him to want to rip whatever I’m wearing right off of me. And I have recognized that sometimes if I’m not feeling great about my body or if I’ve had a really stressful work week, I’m less likely to make the extra effort.
And the other day it really hit me that I haven’t been making as much of an effort lately. Case in point: I was making dinner and while it was cooking on the stove, I walked out of the bedroom with no pants on and said, “Hey babe, wanna do it while dinner is cooking? We have about 15 minutes.”
OK, while he definitely didn’t say no to that, I’m not winning any romance points. He even commented from the table, “Wow. Really? C’mon babe, ROMANCE ME.” And ladies, he’s right, we should definitely be romancing our guys as much as we expect them to romance us. And for them, it doesn’t mean sending roses to their office or buying them chocolates. It’s sex. They want and need sex.
So the other night as we were lying in bed together, in an attempt to get my sex goddess on, I had a conversation that took a sharp left turn, and reminded me that humor is actually one of the hottest things you can bring to bed.
Me: Hey babe, would you like it if I bought something sexy to wear for you?
Him: Of course! I would really like that.
Me: Oh good. I was thinking sexy lingerie. Or maybe even a costume.
Him: (after a pause and a slightly confused look on his face): A costume? You mean like Batman?
OH. MY. GOD. This is what happens when you fall in love with someone whose first love was comic books.
Me: (screeching) NOOOOOOO!!! Oh my god, what is wrong with you?? I meant like a naughty schoolgirl or something!!!
Him: (now enjoying my dramatic reaction and the potential for humor) What about Spiderman? Or Superman? Or FRANKENSTEIN!!
Me: (shaking my head in defeat): I should have just suggested Princess Leia, you big nerd.
Him: No, that’s stupid and overplayed, don’t do that.
Me: OK, well maybe I’ll just dress up as a sexy Ewok then. Make one with boob cut-outs. Would you like that??
Him: You know, I bet they make those. The internet has everything. I bet there is even Ewok porn.
Me: Seriously? You’re so ridiculous, I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.
And 10 seconds later, thanks to smart phones and dirty lonely guys who live in basements and have a knack for graphic art, we discovered that Ewok porn does, in fact, exist. And I was reminded how lucky I am to be with someone I can laugh with all the time. There’s pretty much nothing sexier than that.